Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
