I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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