Kiss
Puke
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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