Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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