Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
