if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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