Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
