I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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