I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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