Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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