Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.

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(206): View more from Washington

put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...

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(239): View more from Florida

Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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(904): View more from Florida

The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"

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(209): View more from California

I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....

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