stop calling my apartment porn island.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
