you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
