how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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