Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
