Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
