fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
