When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
