Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
