Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
