Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
