I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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