just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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