i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
