Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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