im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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