dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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