Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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