well I can't set my house on fire every night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
