I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize