Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my being single is dangerous.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Houston, we have a blender
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
