He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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