Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Who died my cat blue again?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
