ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize