hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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