I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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