i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
