Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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