Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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