Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I forget how to act sober
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
