I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
