i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize