We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
