can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
