i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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