so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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