all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
