hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
