This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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