We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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