careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
