What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
