Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize