my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
