I think scott just propositioned me for sex
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
