oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
