Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize