I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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