cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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