I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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