it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
