so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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