You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
