I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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