Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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