nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
